A match made in heaven

It turns out that in order to be his easy-going, laid back self, Taylor needs me to be my type-A, never-laid-back-about-anything self. I complete him like that. 

I figured this out one day when I was in a really good mood, mostly because I had discovered there was a Taco Bell within a short distance from the apartment. Despite his distaste for east coast fast food, I lured Taylor there with promises of a Grilled Stuft Nacho. I can’t really blame him for hesitating – fast food is a different thing over here than it was in Idaho. The fries are usually cold, the wait generally twice as long, and the employees generally quite cranky. However, I refused to believe that Taco Bell would let me down like that, so off we went. 

When we arrived we walked up to the counter and, after an annoyed glance, the drive-thru girl went back to sweeping. We stood there for a few awkward minutes until another girl walked up and looked at us with a very confused expression. “Are you ready to order?” she asked. I nodded and happily ordered my food, followed by Taylor grumpily requesting a #6. We paid and I went to fill my drink, after which I went in search of Taylor, who had disappeared. I found him standing amongst a bunch of tables, looking disgusted. He went to sit down at a booth and stood back up almost immediately, huffing about how filthy it was.

“I guess we’ll just have to sit at a table”, he grouched. So we sat down at a table, where I quietly sipped on my soda because I wasn’t sure what was happening. Then, after a few silent sips:

“I really wanted to sit at a booth!” Taylor suddenly exclaimed.

“Well, just let me wipe that one off and we can sit there,” I offered.

“No! Look at the floor underneath it, so disgusting”, he responded.

We sat there quietly for another few minutes until our food came. As I was busily developing a relationship with my Chalupa, I heard Taylor say, “Oh! She is so annoying!” and I followed his gaze to the girl who had taken our order.

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked around my mouthful of happiness.

“I don’t know, she’s just…annoying!” he said again, followed by a vicious bite of his taco.

I was torn between laughter and concern over the fact that Taylor, who never appears to be annoyed by anything, was annoyed at this person he would probably never see again. So I just said, “Be nice, she’s pregnant and probably tired”. He spit out some lettuce and said indignantly, “I’m tired, too!”

Around this time, a group of noisy children was running around the restaurant, treating the tables like gym toys and screaming at the top of their lungs. I wasn’t paying them much mind until they finally left with their parents and Taylor said in a venomous voice, “Why are people allowed to have so many kids?! They’re sucking up all the resources!” and then, as he stared at their retreating figures out the restaurant window, “SEE! That little kid took TWO straws!!”

I was at a loss for words and, again, didn’t want to laugh at him in his fragile state, so I decided my best course of action was to offer him a soothing pat and a bite of my Chalupa.

On the way home he complained bitterly about “east coast potholes” and “east coast fast food” and anything else beginning with the words “east coast”. A few hours later, when Taylor joined me for a workout (that chalupa comes with a price, after all) and Jillian Michaels was screeching, “you better bring some INTENTION to this workout”, Taylor responded, “you better bring some SHUT YOUR MOUTH to it”.

Whilst muddling through my post-workout haze (i.e. laying comatose on the living room floor), I was pondering how weird it was that I was in one of those rare, happy-go-lucky moods at the same time he was in one of those rare, everything sucks moods. Then, in a flash of self-proclaimed brilliance, I popped up off the floor and yelled, “Dear God! This apartment looks like a hurricane hit it! I don’t understand how two people can make such a freaking mess!” followed by a dramatic stomp to the bedroom after snatching up a lone pillow from the couch. Taylor immediately followed me into the bedroom, taking the pillow and placing it nicely on the bed, speaking in soothing tones about how the apartment looked fine. After assuring himself that I was no longer agitated about the state of the apartment, he proceeded to spend the rest of the night happily flipping through TV channels and chattering away about some Facebook post he saw about beards.

So, while Taylor clearly recognizes that ALL THE THINGS are annoying, he appears to be content with the idea that I will attend to the business of actually being annoyed about them. In exchange, he will attend to the business of driving in all the scary places while I wring my hands in the passenger seat. It’s a match made in heaven.